The Move

Well, we’ve moved. Most people know that but few know the circumstances that surrounded the arduous process. Here’s the story for those interested.

About a year and a half ago I was contacted by a headhunter about a job in California, and after a couple conversations about that job Stephi and I decided not to pursue it as we were getting close to having Miriam and did not want to uproot our lives for anything short of a “perfect opportunity” (whatever that means). Around that same time, we were contemplating a change in the structure of our lives. I didn’t know it then but I think I know it now. God had some plans for us.

We lived 20 miles east of Decatur, where I worked and 35 miles west of Champaign, where we went to church. This had been the best of both worlds for a couple years as I could work where I needed to be but still go to Church where we belonged. We would make a few trips into Champaign a week for church, to lead a small group and to hang out with friends from church. Then we’d make many trips a week to Decatur to work, shop and generally live our lives. And it was fine. It worked fine. But eventually something started pulling on us. We had a desire to more truly live in community with those around us.

Unfortunately we didn’t know what that looked like. Did that involve me leaving ADM to find a job in Champaign to be closer to our church family? Or did it involve leaving our church family for something more convenient in Decatur? Ultimately we decided to start a small group in Decatur and eventually phase out of our small group in Champaign. That would have allowed us to still attend our church but come closer to living in community with those near us. It seemed like a great compromise, save for one detail…..who do we invite to this new group? Who do we even know? We don’t hang out with anybody in Decatur. All of our friends are in Champaign. Why are we doing this again?

So I asked a few people at work if they would be interested in a weekly bible study. Then Steph asked a few people she knew. We thought we would start with couples close to our age with young children so everybody would be in the same stage of life. There was interest from a couple folks and others who were interested but needed some time before we started. That worked fine with us because we still had no idea what we were doing.

In the meantime, this recruiter had contacted me a few more times about different jobs around the country. Another one in California, one near Chicago, one in Wisconsin, one in New Jersey. They were all carefully considered however I kept turning him down saying it just wasn’t the right time. But I really struggled with that excuse. Was I truly not interested in those jobs or was I just too afraid of the unknown? To add to my confusion, I was offered a couple job transfers within ADM. I turned those down too. To someone on the outside looking in, it would have appeared that I was unwilling to depart from my comfort zone. But, that wasn’t true. Steph and I just wanted to follow God’s will and for whatever reason we didn’t think any of those opportunities were.

Trying to get a new small group together and considering new jobs in new locations was all happening at the same time. We were excited about both and therefore went back and forth many times. One day I would have a bad day and would think that I would go ahead and interview for one of new jobs or take an ADM transfer. Another day, we would find a new couple interested in the group and we would think that we should just stay put. As the group started to come together, thoughts of leaving seemed to vanish. Finally, after about a year of talking about it, we had a group of four couples interested in starting at the end of the summer and a few other couples that had expressed interest in joining at some point. We set a date to have a cookout at our house for everybody to meet, get to know each other, and discuss the dynamics of the group. Then we told our small group in Champaign that we would not be returning as leaders but we would still see them on Sundays at Church. We were very excited and thought this was what God wanted for us.

Then I was contacted again about a job in Saint Louis. To be frank, I was initially a little put off that this guy kept bothering me about opportunities but at the same time I felt the need to at least take a look at the job. I took a good look at it. And I was actually interested in this one. So I was set up with an interview…. just one week before we were to have our cookout with our new group. Perfect, more confusion.

So I took a day off work, packed up the family, and headed a couple hours south to Saint Louis. Steph took Mim to the zoo while I interviewed and afterwards we drove back home and began to get excited about our cookout. I was confused, conflicted, excited and bummed. The interview had gone well but it wasn’t so great that I was ready to move just yet. Actually, I hoped they didn’t offer so I wouldn’t have a decision to make.

Anyway, we had our cookout and it went much better than we had even hoped. There seemed to be instant chemistry and we had good conversation all night. This group was going to be exactly what we were looking for. We started meeting about a couple weeks later and still had not heard anything regarding the interview. I was relieved. I thought the decision had been made for me.

Later that week I did receive an offer and after prayer and deliberation we didn’t feel like it was good enough to leave for several reasons. I felt I had done my duty. I had prayerfully considered all opportunities brought my way and even interviewed for a new job. The recruiter, who coincidently is a Christian and is involved in BSF in Minneapolis, spoke at length with me about everything I had going on and eventually he suggested that I counter and see what happens.

We countered and didn’t hear anything for a few days again. As Steph and I were leaving small group the following week she asked me if I had heard anything on the counter yet or if I had missed a call during our meeting. Since I never have bothered to learn what the icons mean on my phone I was unaware that there was a new message waiting for me but I knew I had an old one waiting from a friend of mine who was inquiring about our decision. Steph and I had driven separately that night so on my drive home I dialed my voicemail to listen to the message I thought I had. Sure enough, I had a second message from my contact in HR confirming that the counter had been met.

Now, it’s about a 20 minute drive home from where we met that evening and many who know me well are aware that I do a fair bit of talking to myself. Out loud. It’s my way of thinking when I am by myself as well as how I communicate with God many times. So I used that opportunity to talk to Him and sort through all of my thoughts and concerns. About the time I got home, I realized that I didn’t care. There have been several times that I was faced with a decision, that I wanted to follow God’s will, but that I was clearly hoping that one of the outcomes would be OK with Him. In this case, for the first time, I had no bias. Either way, I would have been happy. And I was going to need some help making a decision here.

A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown (Proverbs 12:4)
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. (Proverbs 31:10)

Steph eventually pointed out that all of this back and forth, all of this indecision, uncertainty and confusion could have all been part of a bigger plan. Maybe, she said, this is God’s way of telling us that now is the time. Maybe God had wanted me to turn down all of the other opportunities until we got this group assembled. Maybe our role here was not to start a small group in Decatur so WE would have a more convenient place to meet, rather that OTHER couples who otherwise would not have had the opportunity could meet and fellowship together. Armed with that bit of wisdom from my wife, I accepted the job and started on October 3rd.

Over the next 2 ½ months, we sold our house in a week at near the asking price, moved into a small company apartment, looked at 85 different houses in the area before we found one we liked, bought a house, moved, tried to learn a new job and new company and had a new baby. Looking back I’m not sure I would move my family ahead of having a new baby but every day I see another indication that we have made the right decision. Every day I feel more peace that this was the “perfect opportunity”.